glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
