i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
