Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
