literally had 100 drinks last night.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
