yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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