Having a random hookup so left but love u
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
