med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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