your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
