Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
