But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize