That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
