new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
