we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
