I didn't shave. On purpose
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
