i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
