mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
