If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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