remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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