It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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