I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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