How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he fucked my hip out of place.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
