He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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