i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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