So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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