i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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