I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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