see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
