Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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