I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
