Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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