Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
