i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
