I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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