You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
