i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
