I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
