I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
