I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
