Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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