it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
