i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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