Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
