I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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