So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
