you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
