I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
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