I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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