can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize