Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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