new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
