she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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