i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
