I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
