I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Jerry, you need to find god
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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