I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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