how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
