We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
